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April 27, 2005
Japan, George Costanza and Valentine's Day
Having worked in Japan a number of years, I noted the inherent mirror-like dichotomy between Japanese and American ideas. Which thought brings me to the character of George Costanza in the American television show, Seinfeld. A perennial loser who without fail makes the wrong choices in life, George decides he couldn't possibly go wrong by adopting whatever action contrary to his natural instinct.
Immediately thereafter, the strike-out king of dating, at first self-condemning of any attempt at success, he picks up a stunning blond in a diner -- despite informing her that he is unemployed and living with his mother.
While desiring not to associate myself too closely to this character of comic fiction, I found there to be, in fact, a certain truth in it -- in a Japanese context. The show caused me think of my decision, while in Japan, to adopt an attitude, as they say proverbially, “diametrically opposed” to any American convention to which I was habituated.
Quite naturally, one might assume that I was of this opinion simply because of a profound lack of understanding of Japanese ways of life. And in many ways, I was at sea for a while. But after lenghty observation and experience, I had come to the conclusion that Japanese and Americans are separated by an ocean of culture; whereas Chinese and Americans walk upon the same footbridge that crosses it.
While I found my sea legs in Japan, I made use -- years before the Seinfeld show ever aired -- of the George Costanza method of success: I thought and did the opposite of just about whatever I’d considered, by habit, to be “right and proper.”
An example. Valentine’s Day is that special day for American ladies, on which they receive all sorts of expressions of love – candy, flowers, diamond rings -- from their male lovelies. But in Japan – here we begin to cross over to the mirror Earth on the opposite side of the sun -- Valentine’s Day has always been a burden on the lady, for it is she who is must give her favored male the giri-choco (義理チョコ : ぎりちょこ) – the “obligation chocolate.”
In my first year, my unthinkingly chivalrous American behavior turned me into a laughing stock when I brought in chocolate for all of the ladies in the office. The ladies loved it, but the men – have you ever heard Japanese men laugh heartily en masse?
And as I was just about the only foreigner working for my Japanese employers, I received quite a bit of giri choco from the gals – but by my second year realized that I had no responsibility to return the favor. None of the men do.
Not even with the establishment of “White Day,” (ホワイトデー ) March 14, ostensibly created by a candy manufacturer [see this interview with a few of the luminaries of the sweets world] so that men would have the ceremonial opportunity to repay the giver of giri-choco with a present of white chocolate. (Well, why not? White chocolate is the opposite of…not-white chocolate.) Needless to say, Japanese men, having eaten their dark chocolate with glee, have no incentive to return the favor – and they don’t!
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